February 06, 2016
Bursting Popular Myths about Love
I don't mean to pop anyone's balloon but ... with Valentines Day coming up, there are a lot of myths out there about love and romance that need bursting. Here is one of the most common misconceptions about our most important experience :
Love is natural and "just happens" .
Maybe a neurochemical response to phenylethylamine (PEA) just happens but that's not love - it's sexual attraction. There is nothing wrong with sex but ... PEA wears off on its own and that kind of "love" will fade unless it is protected and nurtured.
Love, on the other hand, takes intentional effort and consideration for the other person. Caring for someone else is in fact is quite unnatural. Love is what lifts us out of our own natural selfishness and allows us to think about the welfare of someone other than our selves. It's not easy and we aren't perfect but love (not sex) is what motivates us to express our better selves.
Rev. Michael Heath, LMHC, Fellow A.A.P.C. 2 6 2016