October 14, 2014
Having Good Sex is a Sign of a Healthy Marriage
Whether Cause or Effect, Having Good Sex is the Sign of a Healthy Marriage
I don't know if I totally agree with the Salon article that I linked below , but the gist is right. Whether it's a cause or an effect doesn't matter. Having a lot of enjoyable sex ( given that both partners are in good health) is a fairly reliable sign of a happy marriage. BTW - "A lot" is not a specific number. Each couple decides what "a lot" actually means and how often is mutually satisfying.
-- It is not that sex is the most important thing but ... as Saul Gordon , Syracuse University's legendary sex education guru once said: "Sex is the 9th most important thing in a relationship. But, given the many things that influence how we get along, being in the top 10 is pretty important."
-- The take away is not that sex fixes problems but that, if you are healthy and aren't having good sex frequently, then chances are increased that there might be a problem in the relationship.
--The good news is that there is help and you don't have to resign yourself to a passionless partnership. Oh, one other thing. Don't wait to seek help. The sooner you see a professional to address the problem, the faster the difficulty can be resolved .
-- While we're on the subject, I want to emphasize an important point that the article makes and burst a the common myth that the best sex happens early in marriage and then declines. Good sex requires trust and a feeling of safety. The longer a couple is together in a good relationship, the greater the safety and trust can be. Thus, the greater the safety, the better the sex. Given good health, many couples report that sex in their very senior years can be spectacular.